Friday Robots

It's that special time of the week, when robots come out to play. Here we have what appears to be a standing robot flanked by a group of less useful-looking robots. They're posing in a valley in front of a tree-lined hill. A bucolic subject matter, perhaps? Or are these robots merely visiting their country brethren?

Laura

This post can now be found on my website.

woody guthrie and the bonneville dam

There was a time when dams were not expensive wasteful abominations against nature. No, dams used to be the solar and wind power of their day. It was an elegant idea: build what is essentially a concrete wall. Use the water running through it to power your city. Use the water trapped behind it to irrigate your land. There's no harmful waste leftover, no smokestacks billowing noxious fumes. It's a pretty ecologically sound idea.

It was only by the 1950's problems arose due to over-damming. Mighty rivers such as the Colorado have become sluggish because too many dams were built along it. But in 1933, when the Bonneville Dam began construction on the Columbia River, dams were a viable source of power and water, and even liberal Woody Guthrie could find no fault with them.

In the spring of 1941, Woody Guthrie was hired by the Bonneville Power Administration to write some songs. The BPA was building the dam east of Portland, Oregon and they wanted some good press for the event. Today they may have hired someone like Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus to write a few songs. Back then, the only person coming close to that level of fame was Woody Guthrie.

The BPA hired Woody Guthrie for thirty days. In that time, he wrote twenty-six songs, with titles like Roll On Columbia, Roll, Columbia, Roll, Columbia's Waters, The Biggest Thing That a Man Has Ever Done, and Oregon Trail. None were huge radio hits, but Guthrie got paid $10 per song and that was fine.

The songs, I have to say, are pretty good. I'd never heard this much Guthrie - my previous experience was with Billy Bragg and Wilco's Mermaid Avenue. That was a collection of Guthrie lyrics newly put to music, but the Bonneville Dam album was pure Guthrie: lyrics, music, singin' and playin'. Some people complain that folk music is too homogeneous; one song sounds just like the next. I was surprised at the variations, both in his lyrics and his voice. True, the tunes were often recycled folk standards, but I'm kind of a sucker for that old timey music anyway.

I also felt the thrill of catching Guthrie's references. Usually, folk songs take place in the South, or maybe in England (if you like Donovan), or the Midwest. I've never heard too many songs that take place in the Southwest or the Pacific Northwest. It's a different listening experience when you are familiar with the place names and can picture them in your mind.

Today the Bonneville Dam still stands, a testament to Guthrie's songwriting and the mad skillz of the US Army Corps of Engineers. Nearby there is a salmon run made of concrete steps; the fish can still swim upstream to their breeding grounds.

I am conflicted about the usefulness of dams. On the one hand, they are the original green power. They generate electricity and create reservoirs so farmers can grow crops. But, like so many good ideas, dams were overused and have become a detriment to the rivers they utilize. Maybe the answer is to take some of these dams down. (For the record, the Glen Canyon Dam would be my first suggestion.) Dams can still be part of our effort to stop the reliance on petroleum. With what we know now about river ecology and average yearly rainfall, we can better maintain the rivers and still keep the dams that keep western America truckin'.

A few resources:
Woody Guthrie Timeline.
A nice summary of the time Woody Guthrie spent near the Columbia River.
The Bonneville Dam.

the dream is over?

As many of you have no doubt heard, Barack Obama chose his running mate over the weekend. Joe Biden, US Senator from Delaware. Joe Biden has voted on a number of bills since 1972, when he was first elected to the Senate. It's amazing how many things you can vote on in 36 years.

I'm not going to mask my disappointment here. While Biden seems like a great guy, a good running mate, and has a beautiful smile, he is not the person I would have chosen for Obama.What about the Man from Plains? Ol' Number 39? Is a Nobel Peace Prize not good enough for you, Mr. Obama? How about bestselling author? Habitat for Humanity? Do none of these qualities strike you as fitting credentials?

I shouldn't be too hard on the man. Maybe Obama asked Jimmy Carter and he refused. After all, Mr. Carter keeps a pretty busy schedule as it is. Being Vice President would cramp his style.

But a guy can dream. After all, the theme of Obama's candidacy is "hope." I "hope" Obama will read this blog one day and realize he's made a huge mistake. In the meantime, do not let this minor burp sway your position on Barack Obama. He's still a great candidate and worthy of your vote. I'll do some research and find out if there are any similarities between Joe Biden and Jimmy Carter.

Does anyone know if you can write-in a vice presidential candidate on election day?

OBAMA/CARTER '08.

Belated Friday Robots

Since we've still got 45 minutes of Friday here in the Pacific Time Zone, here are this week's Friday Robots. Enjoy!

Mr. Blick

It's hard not to like Mr. Blick. You'd have to be a naysayer or a rule-follower to turn a cold shoulder to the little pink pill. The first time I met Mr. Blick I was at my friend Curtis' house. I can't remember if Mr. Blick was left out or if Curtis brought him out to show me. Either way, I had never met a more delightful little man.

Mr. Blick is a game in which you hold a paddle with a divet in the center and try to make a plastic pink pill with a ball-bearing inside "walk" into the divet. It is the sort of challenge I was happy to take up - something a five-year-old could handle. I was 17 and loved games I knew I could win. Uncoincidentally, I had never asked a girl on a date.

Ultimately, though, it was not the game that I loved: it was Mr. Blick himself. For some reason, I see Mr. Blick as an old-time pharmacist, complete with hat and suspenders. He lives above the store with his wife and their children. They go to church on Sundays and frequent the playhouse. He is a man about town, known for his patience and thorough knowledge of ailments. When he is older, he grows a silver moustache. His obituary will run on the front page of the local paper: "Blick Dies, Leaving Town Bereft." His hearty laugh and gentle demeanor will be missed. But that's the future. Today we can all enjoy Mr. Blick.

There exists a picture of me at my high school graduation. It is the official graduation picture: me smiling in cap and gown, American flag behind me, diploma in my right hand. In my left hand I am clutching something small and pink. At first you might think it's my thumb. Upon closer inspection, you'll realize it is none other than Mr. Blick, on loan from Curtis.

I was not too sad when I left high school forever, but I would often think back on Mr. Blick. Like that girl you never got the courage to ask on a date, Mr. Blick was someone I always wanted to spend more time with.

Unlike a human girl, Mr. Blick is a plastic toy which can be bought at stores nationwide. You just have to find the right one. I never went out of my way to find Mr. Blick; I like to think he found me. I was browsing in a music store a few years ago when I saw him. The sight of him so surprised me I almost cried out in joy. I dropped the half-dozen CDs I was about to purchase and made my way to the cash register with my long-lost friend.

Now Mr. Blick assists me in writing funny comics. When I have a block, I'll gaze into his tiny eyes until I think of a punchline. He usually has good suggestions. I would write him into my comics, but I don't know if the world is ready for a pink pill as leading man quite yet.

Here's to you, Mr. Blick. May you live 1,000 years not in some landfill, but in our hearts and in the stories we tell.

America the [insert superlative]

These were taken mere days apart. This is a big country, friends, and big things fit in it.

Friday Robots over Aspen

know when to stop

This public service announcement brought to you by Falling Rock National Park.

and they all fall down

Wall Arch, in Arches National Park, has collapsed. You can read the whole story here. It finally succumbed to gravity and erosion, as we all must do sometime. It's a terrible loss for the world, but I'm sure Wall Arch wouldn't want to be the cause of sadness. Wall Arch would want us to be happy and to continue to live our lives.

In honor of Wall Arch, here is a drawing I did a while back. This arch sits near Moab, Utah, which is the closest town to Arches National Park. This arch probably knew Wall Arch.

Rest in peace, Wall Arch. We will miss your shade and your undisputed arch-ness.

Friday Robots: It's Full of Stars

I highly suggest you click on this one to make it bigger. It's worth it.

Indiana Jones in Development Hell

[I take for granted you have already seen Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If not, be warned, dear reader. There be spoilers here.]

You may have heard of this character. His name is Indiana Jones. There was a movie about him this summer, called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Yeah, maybe this blog is getting too obscure in its references.

I liked the movie, but there were mixed reviews and a lot of people didn’t think it was as good as the previous three. In particular, there was a lot of talk about multiple scripts and a long development process. It makes sense: 20 years after The Last Crusade, there must have been tons of ideas for Indiana’s next adventure. I discovered that there was a complete script, written in 2003 by Frank Darabont, which became the rough draft for Crystal Skull. Darabont and Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford were ready to shoot the film, but George Lucas decided he could do better. Five years later, Crystal Skull was released.

Having read the Darabont script and seen the finished movie, I’d like to compare the two. What were the major changes? Which characters had bigger parts, smaller parts, or were completely new? I will also attempt to answer the most burning question of all: which is better?

First, a bit of background. In 2001 or 2002 Steven Spielberg hired Frank Darabont to write the script, which came to be called Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods. Darabont said in interviews that he spent a year writing and rewriting under close supervision by Spielberg. After they had a script they were both happy with, he took it to George Lucas, who grimaced and threw it in the garbage. Lucas then hired David Koepp, another screenwriter, to rewrite. Koepp’s version, renamed Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, is what we see today. Was the rewrite necessary?

Frank Darabont made his name on such well-regarded Stephen King adaptations as The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. (His most recent movie was another King adaptation, The Mist. It was not a huge hit in theaters but I really enjoyed it. Be sure to watch the black & white version if you rent it.) His projects tend to be studies on human emotion. In that way, he can take a premise that might seem pure fantasy and make it easily relatable.

David Koepp has written some pretty big blockbusters. Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible, Panic Room, Spider-Man, War of the Worlds all make for an impressive resume. He is capable of writing tense action scenes while maintaining steady control over the plot. That is, he doesn’t just write a series of explosions. He seems to be the go-to guy for crowd pleasing summer movies. A much more obvious choice for Indy than Darabont, although do we really want obvious for the first new Indiana Jones movie in 20 years?

What surprised me the most about the script was how close it was to the finished movie. Overall, script and movie run parallel to each other. The adventure is still about a mysterious Crystal Skull, a buried spaceship in Peru, and Indy's relationship with Marion Ravenwood. The action set pieces are comparable. There is still a chase through the old warehouse (although no alien body in the script), Indy survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator, there is a chase scene at the university (although in the script there is a shady character with a scar on his face, and no motorcycles). The big ants are in the script as well as the movie. The climactic scene with the alien saucer rises from the Peruvian jungle was in the script, although the aliens in the movie are more mysterious. In the script they offer a wish to the men who return the skull, but the wish turns into a curse as the men die (presumably from information overload). In both script and movie, it ends with Indy’s marriage to Marion.

The big differences mostly have to do with the cast. The script has no Dr. Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) character. It's full of men instead. Indiana has no son and his father is still alive. Marion is married to a Hungarian archaeologist named Baron Peter Belasko, who turns out to be a Russian spy by the end of the story. Indy’s “friend” Yuri (who is a Russian spy in both script and movie) has a much bigger role in the script. He survives almost to the end of that one. In the script there is also a Peruvian dictator/military leader, a much different Oxley (more animalistic), and an international expedition led by Belasko.

INDIANA JONES AND THE CITY OF THE GODS

PRO

The touch that bothered me the most about the film is nowhere to be found in the script. The prairie dog, that hopelessly bad computer rendering that opens the film, is apparently George Lucas’ idea of a great opening shot. Darabont didn’t include it.

There aren’t as many corny references to Indy’s old age. I think, we see Harrison Ford, we already get how old he’s gotten. We don’t need to see him tripping or falling or whatever to show that he is an older man that he used to be. Let Indy age a little more gracefully. Going along with that, there is a very funny moment in the script when Indy is in the university library. His collected treasures are on display, under glass cases. He spontaneously decides he’s going to steal back the idol that nearly caused him to get crushed by a rock in Lost Ark. He tries the exact same trick – substituting a bag of sand for the idol, because it is sitting on a pressure-controlled alarm – and it fails spectacularly. Only this time, instead of a rolling boulder, Indy is faced with a sleepy night watchman who advises him to go home and get some sleep. That scene, I think, deals with Indy’s age without saying so in as many words.

City of the Gods opens with Indy and Yuri on an archaeological dig. I really liked that – it showed how Indy was getting along as he became more professor and less adventurer. Of course, things quickly move toward action, but it’s nice to see Indy at work before we see him dragged into his old ways one more time.

There is a more coherent subplot regarding Indy’s suspicion as a traitor. Not only do we see agents at the beginning of the movie, he is actually followed into Peru, and at the end we see him receiving a Medal of Honor by Eisenhower. It’s nice to see Indy get some recognition, especially after such ludicrous (to the audience’s eyes) charges have been made against him.

The snake joke is better. In the jungle of Peru, Indy literally gets swallowed by a gigantic snake. In the script, ALL the animals near the lost city have become huge. We see huge hummingbirds, dragonflies, the ants, and this snake. When the snake first rears its ugly head, Indy acts nonchalant. He claims to have overcome his fear. The snake then swallows him and he cuts himself out with a knife. Later that night, Indy’s about to lie down when he spots the tiniest snake imaginable. He screams like a little girl.

CON

The dialog is just as bad as Crystal Skull, maybe worse. Every line seems to be ready for the trailer, strangely disconnected from everything around it.

Henry Jones, Sr. appears twice, briefly. Once in bathrobe and once at the end, where he sings a warbly song at his son’s wedding. Is this Sean Connery’s triumphant return to the screen? It struck me as a shameless tie-in; not necessary but something Darabont and Spielberg thought the audience would want to see. Also, at the beginning of the script Indy is an old bachelor living with his father. Wow, that’s sad.

The bad guys seem to be interchangeable and have little new to offer. Without Cate Blanchett, the script feels a little too much like “Indy runs from armed men” over and over. The new characters are all stereotypes with little new to offer.

The ending feels a little too much like the end of the Last Crusade. Too pat. Now Indy is immortal AND he has all the knowledge in the universe? Also, the aliens’ trap for the weak-minded treasure hunters is pretty obvious.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

PRO

Cate Blanchett. There are few finer actors around, of either gender. Cate brings a certain comic weirdness necessary to any Indiana Jones movie. Without her, the bad guys would have been bland and forgettable. She was essential.

I also happened to like Shia LaBouf's character. I liked his character's entrance, and I liked the scenes he and Indy shared. Thinking of Indy as a dad gave the movie something new and differentiated it from the others. This was a fine way to show Indy’s age.

The university chase scene was better, even though it made less sense than the script. Why chase on foot when you can use motorcycles?

The ending was slightly better. I liked that the aliens were not made as definitely evil as they were in the script. There is more left open in this version. I know: George Lucas and ambiguity appearing in the same sentence? I’m going to chalk that up to the other makers of the movie. Possibly credit goes to David Koepp for not creating another race of evil aliens. Perhaps Spielberg was tired of making alien invasion movies. In any case, the result was more satisfying.

A small touch, but a nice one is that Indy appears "in costume" from the beginning of the film. In the script he doesn’t put on his fedora and jacket until nearly a third of the way in. This is just not acceptable. Indy needs to wear the costume as much as possible.

CON

In Lucas and Koepp’s version, Indy sees an alien body at the beginning of the film. Why, then, does he act surprised when it turns out aliens are involved with the crystal skull? If you’re going to tip your hat like that, don’t try to act like nobody saw it.

Marion is relegated to little more than comic relief. In the script, she at least gets a good entrance. Here, she shows up, banters a bit with Indy, then they fall in love. How romantic. This sort of plays in to women characters in all of Spielberg’s films: he just doesn’t seem to have much interest in the opposite gender. Maybe if he works with Cate again, that can be remedied.

Dialog remains a chief weakness, just as it was in the script. It isn’t hard to write witty banter. There should be a writer in Hollywood who specializes in it. Spielberg – if you’re reading this – I’m your man.

Overall, I have to give my endorsement to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. While City of the Gods does the action scenes well and has (at times) a more mature tone, Crystal Skull dispenses with another suitor for Marion, a truly forgettable cast of bad guys, and an ending too similar to The Last Crusade for my taste. Also, did I mention Cate Blanchett was in Crystal Skull?

I don't think it was a matter of Spielberg, Ford, and Lucas finding just the right story to tell. I think it was a case of egos, and of other projects diverting each of them. Personally, I think they should have made three more movies in quick succession. Not a trilogy per se, just three individual adventures, the final one leading to Indy's retirement as tenured professor. I like to imagine an epilogue with Indy as a grizzled old man in his 80's, teaching his final course to freshmen. He has so many stories to tell, so many that the students will never know to ask about. He will have become as mysterious and elusive as the objects he once sought from the ends of the Earth. That’s my Indiana: he of the double life, with whip in one hand and dusty book in the other.

Grass

Friday Robots, Age 8

Follow those precocious Robots as they enter the first grade! They feel quite grown-up when they take the bus and when they help their big sister, Beezus, make dinner.