friday robots

Featuring the Official Font of Friday Robots: HELVETICA.
And the Official Background Coloring Method: WATERCOLOR.
And the Official Robot Ink Choice: INDIA.

Maybe I can get some free art supplies off this post? Fingers crossed.

bowie's pineapple

I'm not the only person who hates it when celebrities have kids. Millions of people the world over are forced to endure artless, excruciating vanity projects aimed at children from the fertile minds of such luminaries as Julianne Moore, Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, Madonna, Peyton Manning, Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, Brooke Shields, and Tim McGraw.

Even dear old Woody Allen made his first (and so far only) foray into animation: Antz, a movie I honestly can't remember a single thing about even though I know for a fact that I once watched it.

When celebrities attempt to warp the minds of future fans, they usually choose the format of the picture book. A great picture book can have more cultural significance than a novel: think Cat in the Hat, Where the Wild Things Are, Harold and the Purple Crayon. These books enter our psyches when when we are very young and they never leave. The next time you look away from your computer screen, notice every adult around you. They all know these books, and probably more.

So when a celebrity wants to cash in and maybe extend their fame to the next generation, they look to the angelic faces of babies. Look at 'em. They don't know the crass commercialism that exists in our world. They are empty receptacles into which we can pour whatever intellectual garbage we want.

I read this great article on the explosion of celebrity children's books and couldn't agree more. Here's a choice quote (WARNING: he is British):

If my theory holds true, it is scary, because it suggests that celebrities believe the hype about their own abilities. Worse, it implies a depth of public obsession about the famous that is even more extreme than we realise. It is one thing to want to know which celebrity is sleeping with which, who has fallen out with whom, the stuff and nonsense of tabloid prurience. But to want to listen in to the most intimate bedtime stories told by a celebrity to her or his child, irrespective of their worth, is bordering on the weird.

This is a long wind-up to talk about a celebrity whose children's project is nothing short of brilliant. It isn't a book or an album of lullabies; it's a guest appearance on one of the most delightful cartoons on TV:

David Bowie on SpongeBob SquarePants.

Somehow this was always meant to be. The surreal adventures of a dish sponge meld perfectly with David Bowie's odd sensibility. Together they created "Atlantis SquarePants," one of my favorite SpongeBob episodes.

SpongeBob and his friends ride a magical bus (YES) to the lost city of Atlantis. Bowie plays Lord Royal Highness, Atlantian ruler and self-appointed tour guide. One of the funniest jokes in the episode is that, while each character gets a song, Bowie sings not one word.

Another nice touch is that Bowie's character looks strikingly similar to the Blue Meanies of Yellow Submarine.
In all, the episode is 42 minutes and 31 seconds of non-pandering fun. There is no Special Message, there is no Big Idea. Just a good episode of a show that already proved its worth long ago. The next time any of you megastar celebrities decide to create something "for the children," take heed: this is how it's done. Let Bowie be your compass.

stumptown 2010: a tale of love, betrayal and redemption

What you see here is my haul from this year's Stumptown Comics Fest, the best darn comics convention this side of the Sandy River. Stumptown is my favorite comics festival because last year it was the first in which I exhibited. This year I was back with my new book See America First! and my first foray into the Five-Page Folded Comic (titled "A Special Message from Ernesto and the Cookie Monster").

Unlike today, the weekend's weather was beautiful: perfect comics weather. I was so happy to see the good people of Portland (and beyond) come out to see the plethora of comics available.

Of course the show would not have been the same without my talented table-mate Kenan Rubenstein. Aided by Girl Cate, Kenan showed us on the West Coast how comics are done Brooklyn Style (lightly grilled on one side, then tossed with leafy greens and cumin). He will someday be my editor, adviser, manager, agent, and lawyer, but for now we just split tables at comic conventions. His work is nuanced and pure, his foldies just keep getting better and better. One day he'll put them all together and it will take hundreds of folds to open completely.

Kenan came to this show with new prints, which sell better than comics because you can hang them on your wall and you don't have to suffer through some nincompoop's egotistical manifesto.

Fortunately, the color schemes we each chose for our table halves match; we had a decidedly nifty-looking table. It's hard to stand out in a crowded comics fest, especially when some of the comic creators are girls.

By now you're probably wondering what to take away from the overflow of talent emanating from the Lloyd Center Doubletree Hotel. Locals included Reid Psaltis, whose foldies are superb and whose new comic Carry On, Carrion is a laugh-and-a-half about the death of a bird (no, seriously). Aron Nels Steinke, who turned me on to the good folks at Pinball Publishing, had his book Neptune as well as the addictive ongoing series Big Plans. Greg Means had his anthology series Papercutter, which never fails to impress (if Saturday Night Live had the guests Greg manages to get, it would be super-awesome instead of merely super). The impeccably-dressed Theo Ellsworth, who was responsible for this year's Stumptown poster, had prints as well as the Secret Acres-published book Capacity.

What would Stumptown be if it were not for the out-of-towners? Neil Brideau, from Chicago, gave me a sad, beautiful story called "I am in Love with You." We looked into each other's eyes for a moment when our fingers touched, but totally not in a gay way. The living, beating heart of comics, Alec Longstreth, flew in from his current outpost in Vermont to bring Phase 7 (including the story of Basewood) to the yearning masses.

I consider all cartoonists my friend, but some of them may be slightly freaked out by that bit of intimacy. A few cartoonists I met at Stumptown of whose work I am staunchly a fan included Raina Telgemeier, Steve Lieber, Graham Annable, Craig Thompson, Scott C, and Joey Sayers (whose story about the strange and twisted life of a comic strip is brilliant - read it in Papercutter #12).

A big thanks to Joshin Yamada for taking so many great pictures of the event.

My big news was that I am now officially sold out of my very first Falling Rock collection, Owl and Other Comics. It seems there are a lot of fans of both owls and Allen Ginsberg. I have noted this for future reference. For those of you with copies, time to sell 'em on ebay and make a fortune. I updated my Buy Books page to reflect the change in status. From here on out my "first" Falling Rock collection will be the Great Wave of Falling Rock. The comics contained therein marked a transition of pens for me as well as a honing of the Falling Rock characters we all hold so dear.

I need to stop blogging now so I can read some comics, then I need to stop reading comics so I can draw comics!

(Art Spiegelman knows comics)

the onion av club review

The first review of See America First! has been published, by no less than the venerable AV Club: COMICS PANEL April 23, 2010 (scroll down to find it). This is my second Chicago connection in a matter of weeks; my stock in the Windy City is apparently on the rise.
A full recap of Stumptown Comics Fest is on the way! Stay tuned.

stumptown is happening RIGHT NOW

Stop by Table 99 to see me!
Kenan and I are partying like it's Table 99.
Directions and relevant information HERE.

friday robots

Make sure to see me at Stumptown Comics Fest tomorrow and Sunday! It's going to be a rip-roarin' good time.

And now, may I proudly present this week's Friday Robots:

twitter killed jason?

This post can now be viewed on my website.

see america first at powells

You can now order See America First online or in person from Powells City of Books!

Order here.

my reality show idea

Surprise Tattoo!

We will give tattoos to random people we find on the street. Four people - a driver, a cameraman, a tattoo artist, and the host of the show - drive around the streets of America in their unmarked van to give people the happiest surprise of their lives. First they spot an unsuspecting civilian just going about his/her day. The van pulls up beside the person and the Surprise Tattoo gang pulls him/her inside. They quickly knock the person out, then the tattoo artist gives his guest a tattoo! After it's over, they interview the person to find out if the abductee likes the tattoo and whether he/she will be keeping it.

Every week the Surprise Tattoo van will be in a different city, so look out!

Surprise Tattoo! The reality show that combines art, abduction, and authenticity!

That's my pitch.

loose tea

This post can be viewed on my website.

stumptown a-comin' 'round th' bend

Check out this awesome poster by Portland cartoonist Theo Ellsworth.

Saturday and Sunday April 24th and 25th is the Portland Stumptown Comics Fest! I'll be sharing a table with the Creator*, Kenan. Make sure to stop by and say hello!

*...of the 5-Page Folded Mini-Comic

you can still buy my book

Thank you if you've already ordered a copy of See America First! or my other Falling Rock book collections. I'll be at Stumptown Comics Fest this April 24th and 25th, so if you're in Portland that weekend you can pick up your copy in person.

This is the last day of national Buy My Book Week. I hope you continue to enjoy my comics and my blog. I really appreciate you, dear readers, and I want to keep doing this. Your purchase helps me immensely.

friday robots

Make sure to buy my book, See America First!

City robots again this week. Buildings in this montage hail from Portland and the Bonneville Dam.

This week's and last week's robots have been among the more complex drawings I've done for Friday Robots. I draw the robots, then scan them in to Photoshop. I collage a cityscape in Photoshop using photos I've taken over the years, then print it out in two segments (foreground and background). Then I trace the buildings on tracing paper, then scan in the traced outlines. I use the Cutout tool (one of my favorite filters) on the building photo montage to remove some of the more distracting details. For this drawing I also scanned in a sky of blue Prismacolor pencil. Each element - the photos of the buildings, the robots, the drawn outlines of the buildings, and the blue "sky" - is in its own layer in Photoshop. Actually, there are two layers for the buildings and traced building outlines because there is a foreground and background.

I move everything around until it looks pleasant, then save a small file for the web. Voila, Friday Robots. I'm probably making this more complicated than it has to be, but I don't know what I'm going for until I'm already partway done with the drawing. If I ever have to do this again, it will be a breeze.

buy my book week continues

Thank you if you've already ordered a copy of See America First! or my other Falling Rock book collections. I'll be at Stumptown Comics Fest this April 24th and 25th, so if you're in Portland that weekend you can pick up your copy in person.

If you enjoy my work here at the ol' blog or over at ye olde comic strip Welcome to Falling Rock National Park, you should help me continue down that happy road. For eight U.S. dollars - less than the cost of that Michael Bublé album you've been eyeing - you get 32 pages of pure comic goodness.

If you're new to Falling Rock National Park, consider one of the first three book collections of comics.

What are you waiting for? Celebrate national Buy My Book Week by buying a book today!

for sale in stores, online: neat book

A shoutout to the first shops to carry See America First!

In Portland, Powells City of Books (pictured), Floating World Comics, Reading Frenzy, Cosmic Monkey Comics, and Guapo Comics and Coffee. Whew! Proof that the Portland comics scene is alive and kicking. Coming soon to Chicago and Tucson. And as always, it ships worldwide if you order from my website.
Thank you if you've already ordered a copy of See America First! or my other Falling Rock book collections. I'll be at Stumptown Comics Fest this April 24th and 25th, so if you're in Portland that weekend you can pick up your copy in person.

I want you to know how much it means to me that my comic strip, Welcome to Falling Rock National Park, has steadily gained popularity over the past four years. Same goes for this here blog. I never thought more than two people would read what I put here, but in fact lots do. What I need now is income to continue the good work that goes on here.

I'm not asking for charity. All I'm asking is that you buy See America First! or one of my other fine Falling Rock book collections from my website. It's easy, secure, and fun (to read).

For the extraordinary price of $8 - much less than that IKEA couch you've been lusting after - you get some funny comics and a promise of more to come. A fairer deal I cannot imagine.

support your local cartoonist

Thanks to all the people who have already ordered a copy of See America First! or my other Falling Rock book collections. I'm going to be at Stumptown Comics Fest this April 24th and 25th, so if you'll be in Portland, pick up your copy then!

If you come here once a week or once a month, or if you subscribe to my feed and see these posts every day, you're enjoying what I do. Why not help me? For $8 - less than the cost of many Nicholas Sparks books - you get the best of Welcome to Falling Rock National Park's 2009/2010 year! This way you can support the arts without having to go to some musical you detest.

Buy Falling Rock book four - See America First! - or any of my fine Falling Rock books at my website.

conan o'brien in eugene

Conan O'Brien
Hult Center for the Performing Arts
Eugene, Oregon
Monday April 12, 2010
8PM




For a guy who never put on a stage show before, Conan O'Brien had no problem filling 90+ minutes last night at the Hult Center in Eugene, Oregon. It helped that he stuck pretty close to his old TV show formula, but the act certainly benefited from being live and in person.

The first of many surprises came when a videotaped portion caught us up on Conan's doings since his premature ousting at NBC. Conan will now be known as Beardy O'Brien, since the long mountain man beard he sported in the video was merely trimmed but not shorn completely for the show. I admit feeling a thrill in my very bones at seeing another bearded redhead succeed. Conan labeled himself an "Irish Hasidim."

After that first video piece, Conan took the stage with his perverted little friend Andy Richter, joining the "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on TV Band" and two lady back-up singers he christened the "Cocettes."

My wife Isis and I had no idea what to expect when we made the journey down from Portland, but we were certainly entertained. Conan obviously loves what he does, and as he said in the show, he's got no other skills. (A funny bit was when he described walking into the unemployment office and asking them to match his previous salary.) A born entertainer, Conan put together a musical comedy revue worthy of his Irish Yiddish ancestors.

There was a veritable Thanksgiving feast of guests: the Portland-based band Spoon played "I Summon You" from their Gimme Fiction album, Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the page on 30 Rock) said nary a word but pulled the (renamed for legal reasons) Rural Sheriff Handle, Triumph, the (renamed for legal reasons) Self-Pleasuring Panda, and the setpiece of the show, the inflatable bat from Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell Tour:
The show itself was like a slightly wilder version of Conan's old TV show(s), a conceit Conan acknowledged when he expressed his habit of "throwing to commercials." He said it was a habit so ingrained that he wanted to do it for local products in Eugene. Andy then proceeded to endorse two products: Jungle Juice (a frat party staple of liquor and whatever is lying around the house) and Burrito Boy "Mexican style" food.

There were many mentions of Conan's state of mind throughout the show, especially in one of the first sketches in which Conan outlined the 5 (plus 3) stages of grieving a lost TV show. The more personal nature of this tour was a highlight of one of the songs Conan played, in which he talked about his parents, and about "growing up upper-middle-class in an upper-class suburb of Boston."

I never realized how much Conan liked playing music. He played at least three (or three and a half, depending on how you count them) songs throughout the show, including his riff on the country staple "On the Road Again":
It was funny that, although there was a giant screen behind Conan, I tried my best to focus on the real guy on the stage. Even though I couldn't see him as well as the blown-up version on screen, I wanted to be sure to see the person and not the projection. Conan himself mined this idea for comedy during a sketch in which he had us read words projected on the screen and then responded to what we said. That way, he said, we could tell our friends we'd had a little chat with Conan, one-on-one.

As the audience shuffled out of the theater, we were still being entertained by a video of Conan dressed as a "generic network executive," who shouted that network TV is where its at! And be sure to watch the brand new TV show "I'm A Celebrity, I Eat Bark" (later changed to "I'm a Celebrity, I Eat Aluminum Siding").

Conan (or Beardy O'Brien) has talent and energy to spare, and proved that getting fired may have been one of the best things that's happened to him. As Isis and I drove home in the Oregon rain, we realized it was the closest we'll probably ever be to Conan and were glad for the opportunity.


Special thanks for the use of the Flickr photos of PB and Okctopdx.

buy my book week

Hello again. It's me, your faithful blogger and cartoonist. You may be aware that I recently self-published a book. My daily comic strip, Welcome to Falling Rock National Park, has been collected into a (recycled) paper-and-ink volume called See America First!

For 8 U.S. dollars - less than the cost of seeing Clash of the Titans in fake 3D - you get 64 comics you can read over and over again. You get to stare at this beautiful cover, printed on chipboard and which incidentally provides built-in protection to the softer, more gentle interior pages.

Perhaps more importantly, you provide me with incentive to make more of these in the future. More comics means more funny in the world, and ultimately world peace.

So head on over to my handy online ordering form and buy yourself a copy today! Unlike fake 3D movies, comics are here to stay.

support Falling Rock

You know how twice a year or so National Public Radio makes an appeal to its listeners to support their programming? How, without listener support, there would be no National Public Radio?

Well, same goes for Falling Rock National Park.

I draw Welcome to Falling Rock National Park for very, very little pay. And this blog is done pro bono. Which means that you, my dear readers, get a lot of me for free. I love keeping this blog, and I love drawing comics, but I can't continue to do them forever unless I get some help from you.

That's why, this week is national Buy My Book Week. For the price of eight American dollars (that's six plus two for shipping) you get the latest Falling Rock chronicle: See America First! You can also purchase any of the other fine Falling Rock books available on my website.

Support your local cartoonist so I can keep doing what I do best.

friday robots were here

These robots are flying around a conglomeration of Denver, Portland, Seattle, and Tucson. All places I've been! Amazing coincidence.

P.S. Buy Falling Rock book 4, See America First!

See America First!

See America First!

See Carver and Ernesto break into the Park Visitor Center!

See how Falling Rock National Park got it's name!

See Carver's older brother!

See a road trip to the ocean!

See three witches!

See Chuck Close, an aviator butterfly, the oldest squirrel in the park, Mr. Miserable, a dirty hippie, and more visitors to the park!

Falling Rock book four has arrived and you can order it here.

BOOK FOUR HAS ARRIVED

GUESS WHAT?!?

See America First! (Falling Rock Book 4) is here! I picked it up at the printer's today.

You can now buy it online right here. I will mail it to you ASAP.

If you are in the Portland area, you'll also be able to buy it from a few fine retailers within the next couple of weeks. It is already stocked at Cosmic Monkey Comics and Guapo Comics.

Buy one for yourself, one for a friend, one for your date with Destiny. You never know when you'll need a good comic book. Seriously: buy one.



Falling Rock National Park is a family-friendly comic strip suitable for reading, perusing, glaring, glancing, nitpicking, leering, and scrutinizing. See America First! collects the best comics from the 2009-2010 year of Falling Rock. It is the fourth Falling Rock collection and Falling Rock is in its fourth year. Let's hear it for the number 4!

A few facts about See America First! :

- 64 comics are included between the chipboard covers.

- The meteor crater depicted on the back cover is based upon the very real Meteor Crater near Flagstaff, Arizona.

- Pam is shown for the first time lighting a new cigarette on the dying embers of her previous cigarette. Hence the term "chain smoker."

- 0 references to the 11th President of the United States, James K. Polk.

- Unlike my hero Bill Watterson, I am completely open to selling the rights to a bigshot Hollywood producer and turning Falling Rock into a major motion picture. I've already chosen who can voice Ernesto.


See America First!

to the writers of Community on NBC

It has recently been brought to my attention that I am an awesome writer. In the April 9, 2010 edition of Entertainment Weekly (a magazine I read cover-to-cover as soon as it arrives in the mail), the following quotation was printed in the "SoundBites" feature:

I'm specifically referring to the Community quote, although I kept the Parks and Recreation quote in because that is a great show that you should all be watching.

We all know that vampires are "in" right now. We've got Mormon vampires, cable TV vampires, and of course my favorite: Batman as a vampire. So it comes as no shock that TV comedy writers would be looting that vampire pot o' gold for their non-vampire shows.

What does strike me as odd is that I used a nearly identical line in Falling Rock less than 3 months ago:

(For the full strip, click here.)

Plagiarism is the most sincere form of flattery, and I am truly flattered. Honestly, these little coincidences happen all the time. Instead of becoming angry and running to my local Pot o' Gold Attorney to sue, I would like to make a proposition to the good people at Community. Hire me.

You know I'm good. You're already using my funny jokes. Hire me to write for your show. I promise to bring donuts in on Fridays. In exchange you can pay me and put my name in tiny credits at the end of the show. It will be super awesome, I promise.

ponies vs. bikes

Are the differences between the sexes fundamental? Are men and women wired differently? It is this blogger's opinion that all the differences between guys and girls can be boiled down to one essential preference: boys like bikes, girls like ponies.

I can hear the weak-kneed objectors already. "But Kid Shay," they whine, "in this modern world how can you boil gender identity down to one stereotypical debate?" Allow me to bat your objections away like a giant swatting at pterodactyls in his cave.

Girls love ponies. Should I give you an example? Here's one right off the top of my head. Oh, was that not enough for you? I think we can all agree that girls, if left to their own devices, would spend their days riding ponies across rainbows and their nights watching murder mystery TV shows.

Plumbing the depths of the female psyche (scary!), I asked my wife to explain the allure of the pony. She said that girls like a big strong animal they can boss around. Setting aside the full terrifying ramifications of that statement, I considered all that a pony is to a girl. Girls like colorful, soft things. Ponies come in different colors. They also have soft hair, which is kind of a twofer because, aside from ponies, girls love hair. (I imagine connecting your hair to a pony would be the ultimate in awesomeness for a girl.)

Boys, on the other (cooler) hand, like bikes.
Men build machines so we can dominate them. Deep in all men's hearts lies a fear that one day, machines will rise against us in a Robot Apocalypse. Owning a machine that we are in complete control of is reassuring. "Here's one robot that will never rip off my head and devour my entrails," you say as you pat your bike. Men and bikes have a long and happy history together.

Whereas girls like soft, colorful things, boys like hard edges and cold steel. I can attest to this: Titanium is my favorite metal. I don't think my wife even has a favorite metal. WTF?

I wrote about my love of bicycles in a series, A Brief History of Bikes. I always have loved the freedom a bicycle provides. Even in this age - when cars take people to work, to the bar, across the country, to a bar across the country - I've always felt more adventurous in my travels on a bike. You can explore new neighborhoods, take shortcuts, you don't have to worry nearly as much about parking (but make sure to lock your bike or someone else will be enjoying it soon).

Even when riding my bicycle, enjoying the exercise and fresh air, I don't feel a psychic connection with it. I don't worry about leaving my bike out in the cold all night, or getting up early to feed it hay. It is a contraption. A thing - a wonderful thing, to be sure - but a thing nonetheless. And that is a fundamental difference between boys and girls.

friday robots: 8 bit edition

This week's robots are dedicated to webcartoonist Richard Stevens, drawer of the famous comic strip Diesel Sweeties. I always wondered what it would be like to use the equivalent of 8-bit graphics to draw characters. These are all former full-color robots, rejiggered to a more limiting 48 by 48 pixel square. This was way fun, but challenging. It was made somewhat easier because they weren't supposed to be symmetrical.




And because I stole Richard's idea, I'm posting this link to a funny shirt he's printing.

falling rock sells out for april fools!

My good friend Ian Kennedy took over Falling Rock for April Fool's Day. This continues a longstanding trend in which I ask a different friend to draw the April Fool strip each year. Past honorees have included Andy K, my brother, my wife Isis, and Nate.

Ian went for the olde timey newspaper advertisement style. I think he nailed the look of those old ads, especially the hand-drawn type. I'm also happy Falling Rock finally has a sponsor. It feels good to sell out.

For those of you who don't live in Portland, "Semler" is the name of an old building in downtown. I used to see it every day when walking to the MAX train after work.

Enjoy the break from my oppressive worldview today! I don't think Ernesto has ever looked better!